Forward, control.

Kinja'd!!! "Tohru" (tohrurokuno)
11/24/2015 at 18:22 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!11 Kinja'd!!! 4
Kinja'd!!!

I awoke, feverish and sweating, the sheets and blankets tangled on the bed. A plainative meow from the largest knot identified where the cat was, but that was unimportant. I dove to the computer, while the dream was fresh in my mind. Furiously, I hammered at the keyboard. Car-Part, Craigslist, and Photoshop fell like wheat before the scythe as the idea took form. I knew what I needed to do, and the parts started arriving.

An SVX engine arrived and was rebuilt, along with the transmission from a FWD Legacy sedan. Massive C-channel beams from the local steel shop were mangled to meet the mind’s eye’s expectations. A Mazda B2200 was acquired under cover of darkness from the local long-term airport parking lot, and it sacrificed its body to the project just like I was. Blood, sweat, tears, insomnia, 147L of Red Bull, and the parts from two dozen vehicles combined to make an unholy creation.

The final test came at the vehicle inspection office. One man stood between me and having a title for the beast. His face blanched white as I pulled into the parking lot. Even without the turbos spooled up, the rear tires chirped with every lump of the idle. I wagered he hadn’t seen a forward control vehicle in 30 years, let alone one made out a pickup. I could see him shaking his head already - he didn’t believe in it. I’d have to make him a believer.

We returned from the inspection drive 30 minutes later, with the inspector’s stained trousers validating my choice of vinyl seats. Taking an on-ramp sideways at 75mph isn’t a normal part of the inspection, but it was the first thing to finally make him quit screaming at me. An hour later, he finally emerged from his office. Legs and voice still shaking, he handed me a title and told me to get out of his sight. I did so as quickly as I could, a pair of 375-width black marks indicating the path I took.

(With apologies to Seat Safety Switch.)


DISCUSSION (4)


Kinja'd!!! Seat Safety Switch > Tohru
11/24/2015 at 19:40

Kinja'd!!!2

Kinja'd!!!


Kinja'd!!! deprecated account > Tohru
11/24/2015 at 20:03

Kinja'd!!!3

This. This is glorious.


Kinja'd!!! Tohru > Seat Safety Switch
11/24/2015 at 21:13

Kinja'd!!!1

Kinja'd!!!

I’d like to thank everyone at the Academy for giving me such a fantastic honor today. I couldn’t have done it without your inspiration.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Tohru
11/25/2015 at 00:35

Kinja'd!!!1

I like it!